Archive for the Movies Category


Posted in Movies on 10/31/2013 by Chris


Sorry guys. Started at a new job two weeks ago, so I’m playing catch-up with writing these reviews. But they are coming!



Posted in Movies on 10/27/2013 by Chris



Posted in Movies with tags , , , , , on 10/20/2013 by Chris


Though it has its share of fans, Day of the Dead is generally considered the weakest of Romero’s original Dead trilogy. One good thing I can say about it is that the zombie effects are fantastic. Once again they’re handled by the great Tom Savini (perhaps with an assist by future makeup guru Greg Nicotero, who also has a minor onscreen role), but they’re leaps and bounds above anything seen seven years prior in Dawn of the Dead, and they really steal the show. Unfortunately, that’s pretty much the only reason to see this one. Chief among the movie’s problems is its severe lack of likable characters; though we’re given a few to root for, they’re not nearly as interesting as the group from Dawn. Conversely, the rest of the characters are so severely unlikable, that even their gory comeuppance doesn’t make up for the time we had to spend with them. This is one of those humans vs humans scenarios (which The Walking Dead, among others, would take a cue from) where the zombies are practically an afterthought. In fact, the entire first half of the film is basically one long dialogue or argument scene after the next. Though the final 20 minutes bring some much needed mayhem, it’s too little, too late.  2.5/5

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Posted in Movies with tags , , , , , , on 10/12/2013 by Chris


EVIL DEAD [2013]

I had fairly high hopes for this one. Since Evil Dead II and its follow-up Army of Darkness largely indulged Sam Raimi’s love for slapstick comedy, it’s easy to forget that the original was a legitimate stab at making a hair-raising horror flick (the cheesy acting and budget-conscious effects weren’t exactly intentional). And so, I welcomed the idea of a fresh start, done with Raimi’s participation (along with original star Bruce Campbell, both serving as producers here). Thankfully, everything is played straight, though there are some sick laughs to be had. The violence is cranked to 11, the blood comes in buckets, and the score is fantastic and even a bit unsettling. So what’s the problem? Well, after a nice buildup (the movie at least tries to get you invested in the characters, even if they’re still just caricatures) things begin to quickly unravel for these people, but what follows isn’t very scary, and actually becomes monotonous after a while. People become possessed, commit all sorts of random violence to one another (and themselves, and in one instance, an animal), then repeat. There’s very little tension, and since the supernatural element is downplayed a little (perhaps to avoid making things too cheesy?) people basically just turn into zombies. The movie wisely avoids trying to replicate Bruce Campbell’s Ash character, instead settling for an equal group of people, with no clearcut “hero” among the bunch. The downside to this is that there’s no one to really root for, so you end up not really caring about any of them. It all boils to a finale that literally rains blood yet still seems pretty mundane, including a rather forced callback to Ash’s chainsaw-hand from Evil Dead II.  2.5/5

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Posted in Movies with tags , , , , , , on 10/06/2013 by Chris

The finale to last year’s challenge not being brought to you was brought to you by Hurricane Sandy. Nevertheless, welcome back for (what will hopefully be) 31 more horror flicks for October, and here’s hoping us Jersey folk can enjoy Halloween this year without losing power and/or having our houses torn apart. Cheers!

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Posted in Movies, Music with tags , , , on 05/11/2013 by Chris

Well it seems like Rocky V will no longer be the black sheep of the Rocky franchise.

Back in 2006, I joked about writing Predator: The Musical, which would (naturally) be about an elite special forces team with a penchant for breaking out into song and dance, squaring off against a deadly, super-suave alien, and feature show-stopping numbers like “Sexual Tyrannosaurus,” “Stick Around,” and the rousing finale, “Go! Go! (Get to the Choppah!).”

Now, a short sneak-peek video has surfaced for the new Rocky musical (apparently called Rocky Broadway, according to the website at least), and it looks almost as ridiculous as my idea, the difference being it’s from people who are supposed to know what they’re doing:

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Posted in Movies with tags , , , , , on 10/28/2012 by Chris

Paranormal Activity 4

Any lingering doubts that the Paranormal Activity series is following the same trajectory as the Saw series should finally be laid to rest with Paranormal Activity 4, the first of the series to officially shit the bed. I applauded parts 2 and 3 for finding creative ways of continuing the series without actually moving anything forward; as they were mostly prequels (except for the final few minutes of part 2), they still managed to build upon the mythology and occasionally offer up something new to chew on. But much like Saw IV did, PA 4 is the first entry to blatantly spin its wheels, squeezing out a placeholder of mostly cheap scares while refusing to carry the ongoing story any further. Returning from PA3, directors Henry Joost and Ariel Schulman retain none of the inventiveness they brought to the previous one; replacing that one’s highly effective gimmick that was the oscillating fan camera, for instance, is a lame one involving an X-box Kinect sensor and a night vision camera, which allows our protagonists to spot obvious CGI-rendered movement in the room. Yawn. To its credit, the movie is actually pretty comedic on occasion, as if the filmmakers realized they needed something to make up for the lack of real scares. As it stands, the cracks are really starting to show, and if a fifth one is to be expected this time next year (it is), then some serious reassessment should be in order.  2/5

  • Drink every time someone either screams or says “Robbie.”

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