Today is 4/20, and while I don’t partake myself, Six Feet Under’s Chris Barnes has smoked so much weed, the last mosquito to bite him went on to polish off a 7/11 burrito and a bag of Funyuns. SFU’s particular concoction of death metal and groovy stoner rock is usually abetted by Barnes’ unique brand of creatively violent lyricism, made possible no doubt by the copious amounts of chronic in his system. The man can turn a phrase.

Though some tough choices were made, I’ve narrowed it down to my 20 personal favorites:

 A son-of-a-bitch third generation; Schooled in the art of human strangulation. – “Feasting on the Blood of the Insane,” from Maximum Violence (1999)

Hand me the bonesaw! – “Bonesaw,” from Maximum Violence (1999)

Haphazardly I remove your spleen. And your liver. – “Silent Violence,” from Haunted (1995)

In the cemetery, you have been left unburied, the vultures pick at your eyes. – “Shadow of the Reaper,” from 13 (2005)

Your torture brings me pleasure; I climax as I murder. – “Burning Blood,” from Warpath (1997)

I wait to drink your fucking blood – BLOOD! – “Revenge of the Zombie,” from Warpath (1997)

Just another pig – dead – with some extra holes. – “No Warning Shot,” from Maximum Violence (1999)

I’ll dig you up just to kill you again. – “Hacked to Pieces,” from Maximum Violence (1999)

Salvation…is a crippled bitch. – “It Never Dies,” from True Carnage (2001)

I’ll turn you all into bloodsucking freaks! – “Necrosociety,” from True Carnage (2001)

You are so ugly you deserve to die. – “Ugly,” from Bringer of Blood (2003)

Oh my God not another dead body! – “Rest in Peaces,” from 13 (2005)

Fuck the church and that Christian shit; my tombstone’s carved with a 666. – “Deathklaat,” from 13 (2005)

Snakes! – “Snakes,” from True Carnage (2001)

Coroner had a difficult time determining cause of death. – “As the Blade Turns,” from Commandment (2007)

Chop, chop, chop – off comes the head. – “The Art of Headhunting,” from 13 (2005)

This murder was caused by the swing of the axe. – “The Edge of the Hatchet,” from Commandment (2007)

The coffins are now open – to spit free precious cargo. – “Involuntary Movements of Dead Flesh,” from Death Rituals (2008)

An overdose of fucking brutality. – “Missing Victims,” from Undead (2012)

I sold my soul to the devil, but I would have burned in hell for free. – “Incision,” from Unborn (2013)


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