FIVE THINGS MORE EXCITING THAN THE NEW INCUBUS SONG:

  1. Taking a piss.
  2. Taking a shit.
  3. Watching my dogs take a piss.
  4. Watching my dogs take a shit.
  5. Dr. Phil

 

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Let’s face it – at this point, getting excited over a new Incubus single is like getting excited over a new Eddie Murphy movie. And even though it’s been over four years since their last mediocre album (and even though they announced a hiatus back in ’08), a “best-of” compilation in 2009 with several new songs kept up their profile, which makes this sudden return all the less spectacular.

It must be said, however, that while I consider S.C.I.E.N.C.E. my favorite album (like many do), I’ve never blamed Incubus for abandoning that funk/metal sound. I love that album dearly, but it’s about the second-most dated thing from the ’90s besides maybe The Net with Sandra Bullock. Still, there’s no excuse for the fact that they’ve largely repeated themselves anyway, ever since Make Yourself became the second coming of Christ among high school kids who took sharpies to their backpacks.

So what’s there to say about this new song? Well, don’t listen while operating heavy machinery. It’s actually not bad to begin with, as the verses work surprisingly well. Then came Boring Incubus Stock Chorus #3, and suddenly all was right with the world again. Would it kill Mike Eizenger to crank up his fucking guitar once in a while? I’m not an advocate of being heavy for heavy’s sake, but wouldn’t a more hard-hitting chorus been a nice counterpart for the laid-back verses?

Anyway, their new album comes out/”drops” July 12, depending on how douchey you wanna sound.

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