Archive for March, 2011

THE HANGOVER PART II: DEJA VU

Posted in Movies with tags on 03/31/2011 by Chris

So a full-length trailer for The Hangover Part II has surfaced, and unfortunately it’s not an early April Fool’s joke. Because if it’s one thing we can expect judging from this trailer, it’s the exact same movie in a different location:

Good God almighty. Maybe it’s because director Todd Phillips has never attempted a sequel before, but surely someone could’ve told him (and the writers) that they didn’t have to repeat Every. Single. Fucking. Thing. from the first movie:

  • Once again, it’s centered around a wedding.
  • Once again, they (appear) to get drugged.
  • Once again, they wake up with a random animal in the room.
  • Once again, they have to find their missing friend.
  • It’s not Doug this time, but (once again), he appears to be sidelined for much of it anyway.
  • Once again, Stu finds himself disfigured in some way.
  • Once again, there’s car chases and shootouts.
  • Page 12 of the Hollywood Sequel Handbook states that if a minor character in the first movie (Ken Jeong) was a hit, their screen time must be doubled for the next one.

I want to be charitable and not judge this solely on one trailer, but there’s simply too much evidence here that the filmmakers were either A) lazy, or B) afraid to stray too far from a money-making formula.

Advertisements

MY (BELATED) THOUGHTS ON THE TRUMP ROAST

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , on 03/30/2011 by Chris

To say that I’ve been neglecting this blog lately is to say that Steven Tyler has been sort of neglecting Aerosmith lately.

Oh well.

A lot has happened since I last chimed in with my thoughts on a small viral music video:

  • Said video has gone from roughly 40,000 views to over 60,000,000.
  • Michael Gough (Alfred in Tim Burton’s Batman films) died, and Liz Taylor followed once she knew she’d have a butler up there.
  • Ke$ha contributed to Japan’s relief by postponing her tour there.
  • And finally, Comedy Central aired their Roast of Donald Trump.

Continue reading

A FEW THINGS I’VE LEARNED FROM WATCHING THE VIDEO TO ONE OF THE WORST SONGS EVER

Posted in Music with tags on 03/15/2011 by Chris

The other day, a friend posted a video on facebook. “I’ve gone ahead and found the worst song ever,” he said. “You can stop looking now.” I’m not always inclined to trust his judgment – after all, this is a guy who still thinks Major League II is not only a funny movie, but better than the original(!!). I also get suspicious of any song that’s hailed as being “the worst song ever”, yet isn’t performed by the Black Eyed Peas or that walking STD who calls herself Ke$ha.

But truth be told, “Friday”, by this tween tw@t named Rebecca Black, is entertaining in the same way watching Charlie Sheen head towards death is entertaining – minus the clever wordplay and legal bitches, of course. Here’s the video:

And here’s a few things I’ve taken away from it:

  • I’m glad someone gave Selena Gomez’s autistic sister a shot at having a music career too.
  • Because I initially confused this girl’s last name with the song title, I was surprised to find that it’s not “Black Friday” by Rebecca. Which is a pity, because I ended up getting a shitty pop song over a shitty video, when I was hoping for a shitty pop song over a video of people getting trampled to death at Wal Mart.
  • It’s a good thing this girl puts her makeup on before going to bed at night so as to save time in the morning. Smart thinking.
  • This girl made friends with 15-yr-olds who roll up in a $70,000 car. Again, smart thinking.
  • Second verse, same as the first. Oh wait – they’re still in the same car, but the two boys have been replaced by two girls. Who the fuck owns this car anyway?
  • Holy shit look at the braces on Rebecca’s friends. Rebecca couldn’t get more metal in her mouth if she blew the Terminator.
  • I know a lot of songs can get by with a lazy bridge, but you’ve gotta do better than “Yesterday was Thursday, today it is Friday, we so excited, we so excited, we gonna have a ball today. Tomorrow is Saturday, and Sunday comes afterwards.”
  • I wonder if these kids’ parents know they’re partying with 30-yr-old rappers on the wee-kend wee-kend.
  • I’m looking forward to her next single, “How Did I Get Preg-nant Preg-nant?”

15 THINGS I’VE LEARNED FROM CRAIGSLIST

Posted in Music with tags , on 03/01/2011 by Chris

I’ve spent the better part of the past two years cruising the ‘musicians’ section of craigslist trying to find a good band to join, which is kinda like trying to find a wife in the red light district. I spent another few months prior to that trying to find a replacement drummer and second guitarist for my former band, and the variety of characters I’ve met as a result is astounding. While craigslist’s reputation for attracting America’s Finest is certainly well-known, you really don’t get the full picture until you’ve been in the trenches for a good bit of time. So here’s a few things I’ve learned along the way:

  1. If you post an ad yourself, wherein you make it abundantly clear that you’re not looking to join a metal band, expect multiple replies from metal bands.
  2. If you clearly specify that you’re only looking to join an established band, expect many replies from people thinking about putting a band together.
  3. If you post an ad where you politely ask all interested musicians/bands to provide a link to a website, or some type of audio sample of their stuff when they reply, expect multiple replies without any of that.
  4. If a guitarist replies to your band ad without any samples of his playing and you decide to audition him on good faith because he seems like a funny and decent guy, he will turn out to be an awful guitar player.
  5. 75% of bands post ads looking for members without including the band name or any type of link or sample of their work. This means you must engage in an e-mail correspondence with them before finding out they blow ass.
  6. THERE’S STILL PLENTY OF PEOPLE WHO POST LENGTHY ADS IN ALL CAPS, THAT WILL SURELY MAKE YOUR EYES TWITCH BEFORE YOU EVEN GET HALFWAY THROUGH THEIR CLUSTERFUCK OF SHITTY SHIT.
  7. There’s plenty of people looking for rythm, rhithem, rithem, rhythem, or rhythim guitarists.
  8. There’s even the occasional person looking for a “base” player.
  9. Many people are influenced by the band “Led Zepplin”, and on rare occasions, “Deaf Leopard”.
  10. Every so often there’s a post from someone looking to join a band, even though they don’t own an amp or in some cases, any instruments at all.
  11. People will post only looking for serious, experienced and exceptional musicians, while also stating that they’re doing this “just for fun” and only looking to play maybe once per month.
  12. At least one person out there is looking to form a Paramore tribute band.
  13. At least one person out there is looking to form a Harry Potter tribute band.
  14. There will always be someone willing to start an AC/DC tribute band.
  15. There are still people looking to form nu-metal bands.