Charlie comes LOADED with lovable phrases, including:

  • “This bootleg cult arrogantly referred to as AA now supports a 5% success rate. My success rate is 100%!”
  • “One of their mottoes is ‘Don’t be special, be one of us.’ Newsflash: I am special, and I will never be one of you!”
  • “I have a disease? Bullshit! I cured it with my mind!”
  • “The only thing I’m addicted to is winning!”
  • “I’m gonna hang out with these two smoking hotties and fly privately around the world. It might be lonely up here but I sure like the view!”
  • “Look what I’m dealing with, man. I’m dealing with fools and trolls!”
  • “I’m sorry, man, but I’ve got magic. I’ve got poetry in my fingertips. Most of the time — and this includes naps — I’m an F-18, bro. And I will destroy you in the air! I will deploy my ordinance to the ground!”
  • “I’m tired of being told ‘You can’t talk about that, you can’t talk about that.’ Bull S-H-I-T!”
  • “If they want me in it, it’s a smash. If they don’t, it’s a turd that opens on a tugboat!”
  • “We work for the Pope, we murder people. We’re Vatican assassins. How complicated can it be? What they’re not ready for is guys like you and I and Nails and all the other gnarly gnarlingtons in my life, that we are high priests, Vatican assassin warlocks. Boom. Print that, people!”
  • “I’m not Thomas Jefferson. He was a pussy.”

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