Archive for November, 2010

THE FIVE MOST UNDERRATED BOND MOVIES

Posted in Movies with tags on 11/28/2010 by Chris

…in order of release:

Dr. No, at least it seems, is seen more out of necessity or curiosity nowadays rather than sheer interest. Being the first Bond movie, its immediate successors (From Russia with Love, Goldfinger) have eclipsed it in both quality and overall appeal, but Dr. No remains a relatively low-key but engaging adventure. While it contains a few elements that would come standard with most Bond films (exotic locations, pretty women, and a disfigured and bat-shit crazy villain), it’s missing many; there’s no pop singer theme song (aside from John Barry’s eternal “James Bond Theme”, of course), Q and his gadgets have yet to show up, and there’s very little action – at least in comparison to future installments. Bond is also a bit grittier here, and not yet the superhuman spy he would  become (even Dr. No himself refers to him as a “stupid police man”). The plot is also fairly straightforward, and though it takes quite a while before the main villain even shows up, there are hardly any twists, subplots or throwaway characters to speak of. It’s probaby the leanest and simplest of Bond flicks, and after many needlessly complicated ones, popping this one in can be refreshing.

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THE FIVE BEST BOND MOVIES

Posted in Movies with tags on 11/20/2010 by Chris

…in order of release:

From Russia with Love has some pacing issues, but there’s no denying its place here. While the Bond series (and Bond himself) were still finding their footing, From Russia with Love is an upgrade from the relatively low-key Dr. No. The plot is more espionage than straight-up action, but many of the series’ more outlandish staples are introduced here. We get the first appearance of Q, who presents Bond with a very unorthodox suitcase. We get the first semi-appearance of Blofeld, leader of SPECTRE and nemesis of Bond for the next several entries, as well as Rosa Klepp (the crazy bitch with the poison-tipped knife in her shoe) and henchman Robert Shaw, who likes ordering red wine with fish, and slugs it out with Bond on a train in one of the movie’s best scenes. Though it was largely eclipsed by Goldfinger, From Russia with Love is an important Bond entry, and not to be missed.

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THE FIVE WORST BOND MOVIES

Posted in Movies with tags on 11/14/2010 by Chris

…in order of release:

It’s a shame that Diamonds Are Forever was Sean Connery’s swan song as James Bond (not counting 1983’s Never Say Never Again, which isn’t really an official Bond movie). While it’s far from the worst of the series, it’s most certainly the weakest and silliest of all the Connery ones. After skipping out on the previous Bond movie (the otherwise awesome On Her Majesty’s Secret Service), Connery was lured back with a massive paycheck, but you can’t help but feel he came back for the wrong movie. The plot is as silly as it gets, with arch-nemesis Blofeld returning (played by yet another actor) and essentially cloning himself by making his minions have plastic surgery to look like him. Like in a lot of Bond adventures, the “Bond girl” he’s paired with is a ditzy dumbass, and the climax is laughably anticlimactic, when it’s revealed that Blofeld’s diabolical plan essentially hinges on a simple cassette tape. The highlights of the movie are an impressively staged car chase in Las Vegas, and Connery himself, who brings his (expensive) charm to the series one last time.

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JESSICA ALBA THINKS SHE’S A GOOD ACTOR?

Posted in Movies with tags on 11/06/2010 by Chris

In an interview for an upcoming issue of some magazine I don’t care about, Jessica “Class Up The Ass” Alba stated that “Good actors never use the script unless it’s amazing writing. All the good actors I’ve worked with, they all say whatever they want to say.”

I’m confused – is she including herself among those “good actors”? And anyhow, way to insult the people who, for the most part, created the movies that give you fat paychecks and let you do typical celebrity things like naming your kid “Honor”.

She later goes on to add, “The time I’m not spending with my kid has to be worth it, so when I sat down with my agents after I was ready to go back to work, I told them: It’s all about the directors.”

I guess becoming a mother could change your perspective on a lot of things, but I didn’t know it had the power to make mediocre actresses think they’re Meryl Streep. So c’mon Hollywood – better line up some A-list directors so this bitch can keep acting, and eventually have another kid named “Morality”. And while you’re at it, make sure the writing is top-notch if you want her to say what she’s supposed to say.

EDIT: Well, it hasn’t taken long for an established screenwriter to respond.

LeANN RIMES LOOKS LIKE THE GRINCH

Posted in Music with tags , on 11/04/2010 by Chris

 

 

 

 

 

 

…but instead of stealing Christmas, she’s just stealing married guys. Wanna see who else looks like the Grinch this year?

HHMC, PART V

Posted in Movies with tags , , , , , , on 11/01/2010 by Chris

25. Halloween: The Inside Story There’s no shortage of feature-length documentaries on John Carpenter’s Halloween. Along with Anchor Bay’s 25th Anniversary Edition DVD of the movie came Halloween: A Cut Above The Rest, a 90-minute account of what it took to get it made. Then came Halloween: 25 Years of Terror, a look back on the series in general as well as the “Return To Haddonfield” convention. Now 2010 brings us this one, which once again focuses almost solely on the original. As expected it’s mostly a rehash of A Cut Above The Rest, albeit with newer interviews. After all, how many ways can you tell the same story? Thankfully, this one manages to dig a bit deeper in places. While the interviewees are mostly the usual suspects (Carpenter, Curtis, P.J. Soles, Dean Cundey, Irwin Yablans, Tommy Lee Wallace, etc), this one goes out of the way to include some actors who played smaller roles, like Tommy Doyle and Lindsey Wallace, as well as the kid who played Michael at age 6. Even the guy who was brought in to play him for a few seconds when his mask came off shows up. This thing misses a few tidbits from the first documentary, but adds a few of its own. The last few minutes are used to breeze through the sequels, and Jamie Lee Curtis’ comments on Halloween: Resurrection are priceless. And since it was produced this year, it’s inevitably a bit more conclusive, as it recognizes Rob Zombie’s two movies (along with a juicy little tidbit about a phone conversation he had with Carpenter). All in all it’s a fairly good documentary, but if you’re a die-hard fan I recommend watching it in conjunction with A Cut Above The Rest, as the two sorta complement each other in a way. In wake of the excellent four-hour Never Sleep Again: The Elm Street Legacy, I hope something equally thorough is done for the entire Halloween series, because the 84-minute 25 Years of Terror doesn’t cut it.  3.5/5

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