A few months ago, I made a list of all the things the upcoming Scream 4 should do without. I didn’t think screenwriter and hack extraordinaire Ehren Kruger needed to be on there, because it was already known that the script was being written by series creator Kevin Williamson. It’s no secret that Scream 3 blew ass largely because of Kruger, who took a basic plot outline by Williamson (who was too busy with other projects at the time), and wove it into a tapestry of shit. Scream 3, as a result, became almost exactly the type of movie the first two poked fun at: a generic, by-the-numbers slasher movie.

Quit stalling and knife this guy already!

When Williamson popped up a year or two ago claiming he had a truly unique idea for resurrecting the franchise, I believed him. The fact that Wes Craven eventually signed on, to direct a movie with a “4” in the title, seemed to reinforce the notion that maybe Williamson really did have a great story on his hands. And so he finished the script, people were cast, and the movie’s about to start shooting.

Then this story broke yesterday, and I suddenly felt the urge to puke all over my keyboard. Bringing Kruger back (of all people) to rewrite God knows how much of Williamson’s script? That’s like going back to the same cheap hooker, even though she gave you chlamydia the last time. Apparently this all happened because Williamson is working on some shitty vampire show (go figure), and will therefore not be on set to do the sort of last-minute rewrites that need to be done. But why do any rewrites at all? Why can’t you just shoot the goddamn thing the way it was written?

I know this sort of thing happens all the time, but I can’t imagine writing a script, only to have some fuckhead come in and add large amounts of Suck at the last minute.  If I were Williamson, I’d quit dicking around with them vampires and get back before Kruger royally fucks this up.


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