WHAT THE FUCK, BIEBER?

I was sorting through the mail the other day, when I got a bit of a scare. Bills? No. Subscription to Modern Drunkard magazine running out? Nay. Actually, it was the latest People Magazine. And on the cover? Justin Bieber, who is apparently in the running for SCARIEST GODDAMN SMILE:

I mean, what the fuck? This looks like one of those photoshop jobs, where they enlarge the mouth ever so slightly in order to, you know, freak you the fuck out. Perhaps somewhere, a People Magazine employee is laughing his/her balls/tits off. From the looks of it, Ol’ Bieber here seems like an early candidate for the Haley Joel Osment club, where everyone thinks you’re cute until you hit your late teens, and begin to resemble some sort of freakish manchild.

Then I thought to myself…what does he really remind me of? And then it hit me:

Tell me something, Bieber. You ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight?

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